The Definitive Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back

8,582 thoughts on “The Complete Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back”

Viktoria

August 29, 2016 at 4:59 pm

First of all, I’m super impressed with all the information provided on this website. It’s the first time I decided to search on the internet on how to get my ex back and thanks to the universe, I found you guys. Here’s my story. Met this guy back in October 2015 but we were only friends. Life happens and we reconnected in May 2016 and we started dating. He introduced me to his family and daughter in July (they were visiting from another country) and things were great between us. Once his family left the country, I noticed a change on him. He was more distant and was harder to communicate with him. Before he wanted to spend more time with me and now he’s more quite, kind of cold and distant. I asked him nicely what was going on. He told me the fact that his family and daughter are gone, makes him sad. But hey, they left by the end of July and it’s going to be almost a month. Anyways, almost two weeks ago I told him that he better not reach out to me anymore if he’s not able to express to me exactly what’s going on. He replied saying that he has no idea why I’m being like this when I’m the one who reply to his text messages two days later (which is not true). And that was it. I’m completely confused with all this. I’m 36 years old and let say I’m very old fashioned when it comes to dating. I rather have someone calling me than texting me. Haven’t heard back from him. Any suggestions? I really want to give this a shot since I feel we are having a huge communication problem. Any advice will be more than welcome. Thanks!

Viktoria

September 3, 2016 at 11:34 pm

Here’s an update. He texted me yesterday saying “if you want we can meet anytime next week and talk. But it will be better if we stayed friends.” I have not replied to him at all. Again, I’m very confused about the whole situation. Don’t know if I should apply the NC right away or allow myself to have a conversation with him to see where his mind is at this point of the game. I need some kind of closure in order to determine if he’s worth my time and energy or not. I miss him like you have no idea and is hard for me to do the things we used to enjoy together on my own. On my end I have to admit that I was afraid to show him all my feelings for him because I was scared of getting hurt. He was always the one reaching out to me or taking initiative. Sometimes I used to be cold around him because I was not capable to express him how I feel. Even if I was dying on the inside, I pretended like everything was fine. I learned from such young age to keep everything to myself and to keep smiling regardless of the situation. And I guess that kind of behavior is haunting me and not helping at all when it comes to relationships. Thanks for your time and attention and have yourself and your team a great weekend.
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 4, 2016 at 10:16 pm

He’s starting to miss you but doesn’t want to commit. He wants to keep things light. Maybe because of the past arguments.. I think you wouldn’t be at peace, unless you have that talk.. Go ahead, let him express himself and listen to what he says and what he won’t be saying.
Viktoria

September 1, 2016 at 1:29 pm

Haven’t heard back from him since then. I texted him twice last week and nothing 🙁
His family was here for a month. I’m so sad. I do really miss him and don’t know what else to do.
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 1, 2016 at 3:10 pm

Oh, then maybe he really is sad. He’s having a hard time not having his family in his home.. Maybe he feels alone.. If he’s not replying give him space and then just be positive if he replies.
EBR Team Member: Amor

August 31, 2016 at 9:57 am

HI Viktoria,

so you’re not actually broken up? How long did his family stayed there? Maybe he really is sad because that’s the only even that happened before he changed right?

Heartbroken anon

August 27, 2016 at 8:13 pm

Hello, I’ve recently come out of a very intense relationship (so recent, it was yesterday). Me and my boyfriend had been together for 6 months but we’re also very very close for a year previous. Our relationship was fine until he went away for 2 weeks with his friends to Greece, of course I missed him so much and for the first few days everything was fine; we were keeping in contact and then all of a sudden he went cold, which made me panic so I tried calling him and texting him but I was hearing nothing so I tried to contact his friends. All was fine he just didn’t have the wifi to text me. And then a couple days later he done it again but this time I could see him posting on social media but just completely ignoring me and when he did text me he seemed angry or stand off-ish. He came home and that afternoon he ended it because he said he wasn’t happy anymore and that he felt I wasn’t the same person he fell in love with when he first met me but the thing is I can’t see how I’ve changed. I had become so infactuated by this boy that nothing else mattered. He said that he doesn’t think it’s completely finished and that there could still be hope that we come back to each other, but he doesn’t want me to get my hopes up about it. He also has said that he has no interest in anybody else but wants some time in his own company. It’s horrible because we’re best friends and he was my first boyfriend and I have completely fallen in love with him and all I want to do is have him back and just do anything I can to make him fall in love with me again.

Heartbroken anon

September 2, 2016 at 1:12 pm

I’m just so confused! Is the best thing to do just to complete the 30 days NC and then slowly build a friendship? But the whole time I’ve known him even when we were friends we were strangely close so I don’t want to come across too distant but then I don’t want to come across too forward. All I want to to is forget about all of the bad in our previous relationship and build a new future with him
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 2, 2016 at 6:10 pm

You have to make the no contact period productive in having a new routine, because you will continue that routine while rebuilding rapport with him slowly after no contact. In order to forget the past, you have to forget the old you.. You have to change. For something to change, for both of you to have a restart, you have to be distant.. that’s why you need to complete the no contact rule and you need to have a new life and new you..
Heartbroken anon

August 31, 2016 at 10:10 am

Hello, I’m okay I think. I haven’t spoken to him since the day we broke up and I’m going to try 30 days NC. I’ve since been out with friends and I’m going away for a week next week. I’ve been posting on snapchat and he’s been seeing that I’m going out having a good time but he’s still not tried to contact me? Is it because he’s still trying to cope with the break up or does he just not miss me?
EBR Team Member: Amor

August 31, 2016 at 2:04 pm

it can be or he wants you to move on first because he doesn’t want to give you false hope
Heartbroken anon

August 30, 2016 at 5:21 pm

Hello, I’m okay I think. I haven’t spoken to him since the day we broke up and I’m going to try 30 days NC. I’ve since been out with friends and I’m going away for a week next week. I’ve been posting on snapchat and he’s been seeing that I’m going out having a good time but he’s still not tried to contact me? Is it because he’s still trying to cope with the break up or does he just not miss me?
EBR Team Member: Amor

August 30, 2016 at 2:42 pm

Hi heartbroken anon,

sorry for the late reply. How are you now?

Ryan

August 25, 2016 at 9:20 am

Hi,

Here’s a little bit about my situation and see if you can shed any light on what’s going through his head or how he’s feeling.
I broke up with my ex after living and working together in Australia for 11 months. We did pretty much everything together. About 3 weeks ago he was due to do a west coast and I was due to visit home in England for 3 weeks and then we were going to meet again and get a place together. He’s never been keen on Melbourne where as I loved it and always said he wanted to go somewhere hotter but it was always brushed under the carpet. 2 days before he was due to leave for Perth to do his trip he broke up with me saying he thinks we are very good friends now and he wants to be alone and do go off and do his own thing. There were a lot of tears and he said he’d always been a text or a call away if I needed him. When he left he messaged me saying he was in Perth and wanted to say good night to me but I never responded because I was too angry and upset and didn’t want to say something I would later regret. We had no contact for about 20 days when I messaged him using your guide and he never responded. He then responded yesterday and we exchanged a few messages but he says he’s really happy in life now and had forgotten about me and doesn’t want to be friends as it’ll be worse for both of us. It appears he’s seeing someone else even though he never actually said those words (he said it in another way). When he left Melbourne I went crazy and I did get with two other people and I think that will have got back to him as we had a lot of mutual friends who he speaks to, so I’m not sure if he’s upset that I did that and wants me to suffer now or whether he’s actually moved on and is really happy. I’m pretty sure we’re going back to the same city when I fly next Friday but I’m not sure how to approach things from now. I really do want him back but I’d rather know if I’m fighting a battle I’ve already lost so I can go somewhere else and attempt to move on.
Any thoughts?
Thanks,

Ryan

August 29, 2016 at 5:48 pm

Thanks for the response. I’ve not heard anything since the last time we spoke which is maybe a week ago. I’m going to go to Brisbane and try to show myself having fun and see if I do hear anything. I don’t think I will somehow though :/
EBR Team Member: Amor

August 29, 2016 at 1:02 pm

Hi Ryan,

It looks like he’s just being vengeful…because 20 days is too early to move on or he met someone new but you still had history together, so that wouldn’t be easily dismissed.. anyways, has he texted again now?

sara

August 25, 2016 at 2:35 am

Hi EBR team
I NEED YOUR HELP.Sorry for being such a long story as I was not sure exactly which title catogory would be relavent to me.
My ex-boyfriend and I were together for 5 years. Ofcourse when I started this friendship I was 15 and he was 17. During that friendship, he flirted with other girls a couple of times and i forgave him though it hurt my feelings a lot.Just more than a year ago, I became cold a bit in our friendship and decreased our number of contacts. We used to exchange too many texts perday. I was just preparing for university with lots to study. I started sending him fewer texts per day but still we were keeping in touch everyday.
After my exam we started again to exchange few more messages. However something was happening to my feelings towards him. I could not feel as much strong love as before towards him.
So I told him we do not match each other for future marriage.( Just some time after our friendship happened in first instanse, we had talked about future marriage).
He was not happy about less messages and seeing each other less often. THat made him to start arguing a lot about it. Therefore I broke up with him but we were still keeping in touch. However, a month after, my feelings towards him started growing stronger even than before. I didn’t have any boyfriend that time and have never cheated on him. So without informing him, I went to his work place to see him after a long time. He told me how he has been sad about my absence. When I got home, we texted each other that night and I asked him to get back together again like before. I told him how much I love him, but he ignored me.I begged him he said we just can be friend. I agreed but after a month he accepted to be with each other again.This took 5 months, but during this time we were still having arguments, cutting and reuniting. He left me several times but we were getting back together.I noticed that I had lost all my pride on me and had often begged him to reconnect or to see him more.
Sometimes he was well behaved towards me and sometimes angry.
I started thinking he may be in touch with another girl as he was moody with me. But he was arguing that I do not have trust in him. After a month he broke up with me telling me he has no more feeling towards me. I sent him messages again to begged him. He ignored me. He was also going to start the compulsary period of becoming a soldior.And I thought may be it can be the reason for his breaking up with me. But I was wrong. After two weeks, I changed my privacy in both whats app and telegram(to see his reaction)so that no one could see me . He blocked me right after. However he didnot block me in one other account that I didnot change its privacy.
Just before he was leaving to army, I sent him a message : ‘I know you were good and I bothered you when I was so young. I love you and I didn’t want this to happen to us. However I respect your decision. Take care.’ He just replied back: ‘bye’.I was shocked at it and cried for so long. I didnot know where he had to serve in army for his training. After 10 days, I saw him online and guessed he should be having his training not far from our city. The following week, he was online again and I sent him a message That I need to deliver him a letter and told him that I am leaving the country permanantly for the US.We met. He was well behaved and I started crying there. He started some excuses that we no longer can be together. But the excuses were not reasonble at all. One strange thing was that he suddenly called me with another girl’s name and appologized and said that was her cousin’s name with whom she has been chatting earlier. Ofcourse I didnot believe him. And asked him if our relation has come to an end. He replied: ‘no’! He told me that he has his trainings in our own city so he can be home every weekend. The following week he send me a text and wanted to see me. I accepted. We met each other and he wanted to explain everything to me and showed his cellphone to prove that he has not been in contact with any other girl. He made up a story about her cousin. Just after 2 hours, I picked up his phone and saw there was a message that been sent from a strange name asking ” have you not finished work yet?”
I called that number from using his cellphone and a girl answered but she cut the phone as soon as she heard me. When he saw such a thing, he became very aggressive and was shouting at me a lot. And told me another lie. I cried too much and was a bit scared from him for the first time. I could memorize the girl’s number and could save it in my contact list when arriving home. I could find out the whole story and could understand the Name he mistakingly had called me was actually this girl’s name and not his cousin’s.
I asked him about the truth and he said when I had left him he started his relationship with that girl. Their relationship could help him to recover from being left by me and by the time when I saw him it has been 3 weeks since their relationship but I was not aware, it has been 7 month they are in relationship. He added he broke up with her when he was with me. But I didnot believe him. I was very shocked at that point and got a big sarrow. I started begging him to come back to me and I would promise to fix everything and would forgive him. He answered I do not want any one of you because I have been bad towards both of you. I insisted a lot and He said he would send me back some sms messages in a week. But at the weekend when he returned from his army training, he only sent me”How are you?” And nothing else. I came to the US after a week or so and have been trying NC rule(1 month) But he didnt send me any messages. I am so sad and disappointed. I thought he should be in love with her that he quitted me and did not send any texts.
I know that I have also done wrong to him to abondon him for a month. But I did my best to compensate for that as much as I could.Please help me. I really want him back.
thank you so much for your time in my case

EBR Team Member: Amor

August 29, 2016 at 10:09 am

Hi Sara,

Are you not going back from the us..ot they are 7 months now, it means it’s less likely that she’s a rebound

Arpita Srivastava

August 24, 2016 at 8:54 pm

Hey m so thankful to u. I just got my ex back n u won’t believe he literally begged me to come back.I didn’t buy the pro version it was just the free stuff that worked so right for me. M so thankful to chreis n his team I love my bf so much before our brkup we were talking about marriage and then everything just fell apart I felt so broken but I couldn’t get him out of my mind so after 1 year of breakup I turned to internet to see how to get him back and boom I got to ds page I followed the NCR for lyk 60 strict days I cried bt didn’t contact him after that I started taking tym to reply to his texts n calls I posted pics on Facebook WhatsApp and Twitter showing how happy I was without him igniting d jealous syd of my bf n I strictly did everything u guys asked the tide theory worked so well and leaving him wanting more just casually cancelling long texts n calls he says that annoyed him and also he felt insecure and possessive for me. The last time I proposed him(yeah thats rare) but this time the tables turned he proposed everyday I took my time (n enjoyed it) and I said yes yesterday today our families reunited and we r back on track all credit to u guys I love u all sooo much u guys helped me revive my love life. M soo grateful to u and ur loving team. FYI he doesn’t knws all ds and ds time he just can’t let me go he approves all my conditions supports me n gives me time I think I love his new version more which is because of u guys thank you thank you so much

EBR Team Member: Amor

August 28, 2016 at 7:44 pm

Hi Arpita,

Thanks for sharing! We’re very happy for you!

Alexandra

August 24, 2016 at 7:00 am

Hi Chris 😉
It could be long but I really want to explain as well as it is possible.
My boyfriend broke up with me almost 2 month ago.He told me that we were not good match and he wanted to be single right now. Of course I begged for him. No results. I started no contact rule but after two weeks I called him just to hear his voice. Unfortunately I begged him again. He told me he didn’t miss me and he didn’t want to give us a chance. I decided to try again the no contact rule. After whole month I called him. I wanted to meet with him. He was very resentful about this idea but he agreed. We met two days ago. The meeting was cool, I showed him”my better version”. No begging or pleading, just normal conversation about our lives. After meeting I texted him, as you adviced,that today was fun. He wrote me back that he was afraid that i was pregnant but he knew now that I wanted to show him what a great girl Iam right now and what he had lost and he thinks that this breakup was good things for us because we both are better version of ourselves.
I don’t know what now. What should I do? 🙁

EBR Team Member: Amor

August 28, 2016 at 12:04 pm

Hi Alexandra,

dont rush things.. the goal is to make him think you’ve moved on and just starting out as friends.. but if it’s like you’re purposely trying to show him you’ve changed so he can go back to you now, that’s still chasing..

but it’s good that you’ve improved…continue that but take everything slow.. You’re appearing to start to be too available.. texts firsts, then calls and then meetups..

I think he also sensed you were trying to convince him that you are better now for him to come back so he replied that the breakup was a good thing(and better keep it that way)

but, just try to establish that you have your own life now.. dont convince him back, attract him back..

read this articles for that:
What Really Attracts An Ex Boyfriend To You?

The Ungettable Girl

Alexandra

August 24, 2016 at 6:54 am

Hi Chris 😉
It could be long but I really want to explain as well as it is possible.
My boyfriend broke up with me almost 2 month ago.He told me that we were not good match and he wanted to be single right now. Of course I begged for him. No results. I started no contact rule but after two weeks I called him just to hear his voice. Unfortunately I begged him again. He told me he didn’t miss me and he didn’t want to give us a chance. I decided to try again the no contact rule. After whole month I called him. I wanted to meet with him. He was very resentful about this idea but he agreed. We met two days ago. The meeting was cool, I showed him”my better version”. No begging or pleading, just normal conversation about our lives. After meeting I texted him, as you adviced,that today was fun. He wrote me back that he was afraid that i was pregnant but he knew now that I wanted to show him what a great I am right now and what he had lost and he thinks that this breakup was good things for us because we both are better version of ourselves.
I don’t know what now. What should I do? 🙁
Hannah

August 24, 2016 at 6:51 am

Can I give him a bday present next month? I’m trying the no contact rule now and still try to clear my head. But I do want to give him a present tho. Thanks

EBR Team Member: Amor

August 28, 2016 at 11:52 am

Hi Hannah,

it depends..is it within nc? then nope.. not much rapport has built again yet, then nope too.. because you’ve broken up, why would you give extra effort for someone that is not your bf?

Andi

August 24, 2016 at 4:40 am

I feel so lost and have all these emotions inside me. My ex-boyfriend and I (both 18) were together for a little bit over a year. We started dating at the end of our Junior year in high school. We had a great relationship. We were so close, like best friends and we told each other everything, we went everywhere together. I was his first girlfriend and he would get really upset whenever we’d have little fights and he always said he wanted us to be in our honeymoon phase forever. I would try to explain to him that that’s not how relationships work. We would have fights here and there but never anything too serious, I was at fault most of the time for taking my anger and attitude out on him, but i didn’t realize it until after we broke up. We had came back from a family vacation this summer and the week following was just fight after fight, and he ended up breaking up with me the following monday. I asked him for a second chance like I had given him before but he refused. He said he felt like he couldn’t make me happy because he was so busy with school, work, and family. He said he felt trapped because he felt like he couldn’t talk to me about his feelings without me getting angry. He also said how he felt like I was holding him back from hanging out with his best friend (who’s also my cousin), but the thing is that he never told me anything about him hanging out with his friend so there was no way of me knowing. We were going to the same community college and had the same schedule so we saw each other almost everyday, so we would talk often and one time I asked him if he saw us getting back together and he said yes but when I brought up that conversation later, he said he didnt remember saying that and he doesnt know if we will. He said he wanted to stay friends but never made any attempts to talk to me. He said that he doesn’t want to hold me back from seeing anyone else but he also said he knew i wasn’t ready for another relationship and he wasn’t ready either. One argument we had in the month leading to our breakup was when I tried telling him that I felt we weren’t spending much time together anymore, he was always “busy” and I told him I wanted to spend more time together but it just ended with him saying that he’s trying his hardest to keep me happy and maintain his grades, his job, and his family. But then, Post-breakup he started going out almost everyday with my cousin and with another girl. At first i thought it was just a friend of my cousin, but later he would go out more with her. He started to drink and now he’s hanging out with more of my family and I don’t know what this means or what to do. I feel like this is just a “grass is greener” phase and he’s just afraid of committing now. He’s a totally different person now, I dont recognize him. He’s started acting like his friend (my cousin) who loves drinking and partying and “living the single life.” I feel like he just wants what his friend has, which is freedom, but I never held him back from doing anything. I always supported him and backed up his decisions. We havent spoken or seen each other in a month, and I love him still, but I don’t want to get back together with him if he’s going through this phase, but im afraid if I wait it out, it will be too late. It’s hard to focus on myself and move on (without moving on) when he’s involving himself with my family. What do I do?

Andi

September 25, 2016 at 1:09 am

I just gave him his stuff back yesterday and I was cordial. There wasn’t very much conversation. I’m still very confused as to why he’s become friends with my cousins. He didn’t want to be with me but he wants to be with my family??? Is he doing this to still be connected to me somehow or am I over-analyzing?
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 25, 2016 at 11:22 am

it would be safer to think that he just wants to stay friends with your cousins, so that if that’s just really what it is, then you won’t be acting weird around him. But if he’s doing it to be close to you but you acted like you didn’t assume it that way, it can prompt him to be more obvious, so you would notice him.
Andi

September 20, 2016 at 10:27 pm

I have. I’m doing so much better but I still miss him so much. We haven’t spoken at all except for when I sent him a text to remind him of our mutual friend’s birthday which was over a month ago. He’s still drinking and going out a lot with my cousins. (I know this because we still have each other on snapchat and my cousins also always post about him) I heard he got a new and better job and quit school. I’m happy that he seems to be doing well but I can’t help but feel sad. As for me, I rekindled some old friendships and made new friends, I’m happier than I’ve been in a while but my ex is always on the back of my mind. I don’t know what to do.
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 22, 2016 at 7:07 pm

If that’s the case, he would probably think you have moved on too and that’s good. Because it will help you to start over a friendship again. Just be careful that it would look like you’re trying to get him back. Try hanging out with them. You don’t have to be all chatty when you do but being in a group with him is a start
EBR Team Member: Amor

August 28, 2016 at 10:43 am

Hi Andi,

have you started improving yourself?

Kayla

August 23, 2016 at 12:59 pm

So I’ve been in a relationship for 10 years from the age of 15. We were each others first everything’s. In the beginning of our relationship we were long distant he lived in Minnesota and I lived in Maine… In 2008 we moved in together everything was great there was nothing wrong with the relationship.We were engaged to be married in 9 months… Until this month… I went to go visit family in Maine and while I was gone he told me he was hanging out with friends from work… I thought nothing of it so I would tell him have fun and I love you. And he would say the same there was no signs of him being unhappy… There were no signs of him falling for someone else… And he did.. While I was gone with a woman he met at work… Now we are broken up… Live in the same house until this Friday ( I will return to Maine) I’m so lost…. He barely talks to me and won’t give me any reasons as to why this happened and if I ask his answer is IDK… I’m so confused and hurt I just don’t understand this mess… He doesn’t even care that I’m leaving to go back home with the dog we picked out together… How do I make this right… How do I get us back together?

So lost… Please help…

Kayla

EBR Team Member: Amor

August 27, 2016 at 9:42 am

Hi kayla,

maybe the relationship got boring for him and he looked for variety. Are you going to try the no contact rule?

Seb

August 23, 2016 at 9:09 am

Hi!

My boyfriend just broke up with me. He said a lot of bad things and he blames me why he had to break up on me. He said his not the one that I am looking for or ever wanted. He said we want different things. Though we may want different things but God knows I tried so hard to work on his ways to follow his ways because I know that makes him happy, I wasn’t happy after all so, I decided to share and open up to him what I want in our relationship. I just wanted simple things, At first he was okay with ( I thought so..) and the next day he acted strange he doesn’t call me in our endearment. He doesn’t message me much that day, we face time each other and I could see that he doesn’t want to look at me in my eyes. So, I asked him if he was mad about what I said to him and he said ” No, I am not.. I am okay..” and then he started to act strange again. So I began to get worried. I started to make him feel better by being extra sweet so on.. I did it for 2 days!!! and still he acted strange. So I finally gave up! I burst out and said what is happening?? why do you push me away??? and he just said ” this is better way” which isn’t. So to cut off.. He broke up because he said we couldn’t understand each other… ” I begged him to give me another chance..” ( I think that was a desperate move for me!! ) and he started to give conditions and options how to reconcile with him… and those conditions and options are so impossible he wanted me to be absent in my work to meet up with him ( he knows I couldn’t do that..) I felt like he is really pushing me away. The morning after the break up made me realize that my feelings was just being played, stepped on and ignored, Because if he loves me he will never give any condition to fix us. 🙁 For now I miss him I wanted to send him a message but I think I should be quiet for awhile. The best thing that I can do at least for now, is to cry and cry until I will feel that I am tired.

EBR Team Member: Amor

August 27, 2016 at 8:25 am

Hi Seb,

why not try what Chris advised?

meg

July 24, 2016 at 6:00 pm

Hi!

I finally texted him, after 40 days of no contact.
I got a really positive answer; he told me he wanted to talk to me too. We ended catching up, it was a too long conversation but it was really nice. It was like we never stop talking to each other.

Since it was a long conversation i wanted to wait a week before reaching out to him again. But he texted me 5 days later, told me something random so i was really happy that he wanted to talk to me for no reason.. This time i ended the conversation.

Got news from him 2 days after that, something happen to him that day and he wanted to share his feelings about the situation (something about his job) and we sent sms back and forth all day long. I felt bad after that because i think he feels he could talk to me about important things (which he can!), but i don’t want to be friendzoned. He act really friendly with me, tells jokes but he don’t seems to see me like i see him. I know i was the only person who he could talk to about this… but that doesn’t gives him the right, since we’re not together anymore. I was really supportive, and that gave me the opportunity to compliment him also.

I texted him something about a memory we had 2 days after that… I got a response, but he was distant like he didn’t know what to answer… i kept the conversation short.

I don’t really know how to keep him wanting to text me.. i think he doesn’t feel the same way i do, since when he broke up he told me we grew appart and that he didn’t think things could change.
Should i wait for him to contact me and if he does, tell him i don’t want to be friend?

EBR Team Member: Amor

July 27, 2016 at 1:24 pm

Hi Meg

take that opportunity to build rapport but continue the activities you did during nc so that you’re not always available.. and always look your best especially when you get to the meet up stage and then go out with others too and be active in social media so that he sees that.. keeping your life interesting makes him interested in you

Help

July 22, 2016 at 10:02 pm

While I was on NC with my ex. He did send a couple texts but stopped. He was liking my posts too but stopped after a few days. His cousin who is close to him used to always like my fb posts too but since the breakup and NC with my ex, his cousin stopped liking my posts and pics. Now a month later, the cousin just liked a post. I’m not sure if this means anything. But a girl can’t help but wonder. His cousin has and was always very active on fb. I have been in the texting portion of bf recovery and he’s been positive the first two days but then neutral on the latest.

EBR Team Member: Amor

July 23, 2016 at 10:34 am

Hi Help,

maybe because you’re back texting with your ex, so it’s less awkward for him to like

Molly

July 21, 2016 at 3:14 pm

So I fell in love with a boy and we’re both young, he lives too far away and the thing that split us up in the end was the distance. BUT. I feel like the breakup came out of nowhere in haste, he was happy and all in, we were planning on taking a trip together this summer and I was just about to buy tickets when he said our relationship was affecting him mentally, he changed and went stiff and just said that he wants me to be happy but that he’s not doing well with the distance. Distance is difficult but we’ve both known that this would be a distance relationship from the start but that it wouldn’t be forever. I feel like we were happy and that his decision was rushed by the fact that his parents was the opposite of supportive. I have a feeling he himself didn’t know what he was thinking. Anyways, he broke up with me and I removed him off of certain things so that I would be able to go on and I’ve had a really good summer except for the fact that he’s not been in it. It’s been a month and two weeks which was the time I myself decided to be on no contact for both of our sakes. I was a mess, I’ve been a mess and I’ve thought about him every day but I’ve also travelled and had lots of fun. So yesterday I wrote to his friend and asked him if my ex was doing alright, saying I’m hoping he’s had a good summer. My ex afterwards texted me and wanted to know why I wanted to know about him after so long, I responded with the fact that I still care. He asked me if I was seeing anyone and I said no. He seemed overall confused and at least not pleased that I was writing.. I don’t know, I guess what am I supposed to do now?

EBR Team Member: Amor

July 22, 2016 at 5:02 pm

Hi Molly,

I think it’s because he thinks you wanted to try again and he still doesn’t.. what was the last message you sent.. you have to appear friendly only at first

Lilly

July 21, 2016 at 2:34 pm

It’s been a month and a half and over the course of the month I have talked to my ex briefly. It was all friendly and I waited a month to tell him how I felt about our relationship. He feels that it would be too much to have a girlfriend at this current time in his life so since then I have been doing no contact so that he can figure out how he really feels. All the tests I take say that we have a good shot of getting back together based on what happen but I’m scared because I’m not really sure how he feels. What should I say to him once the NC is up? How often should I text him after no contact? Is texting about once a week too much or too little after no contact? I’m so lost about what to do!!

EBR Team Member: Amor

July 22, 2016 at 4:50 pm

Hi Lilly,

what’s more important is how he views you..do you have your own life, are you constantly improving yourself, do you go out always and meet new people, do you go out with your new friends?

after nc.. build rapport first while continuing that life too

Caroline

July 20, 2016 at 12:38 pm

So about a month ago my ex drunkenly kissed a girl at a party which is the reason we broke up. In our last conversation since the breakup he swore that he doesn’t even really know the girl and that he promises there is no one else. I have done no contact for about 23 days now but in doing some social media looking i saw that he commented on the girl who he cheated on me with’s instagram picture. I also saw on Facebook that they’ve been at the same parties this summer since they share mutual friends. Which I can only assume means they’re hooking up or talking now. To me, the fact that he can associate with this girl without feeling guilty about what he did to me shows his lack of remorse about the situation and his lack of care for me. I am extremely hurt and upset. Should I just end my quest to get him back and cut my losses?

EBR Team Member: Amor

July 21, 2016 at 5:26 pm

Hi Caroline,

if you want to move on, just continue being in no contact and the activities you started in it.. it’s the same process.. the only difference is you don’t initiate contact

Rita

July 20, 2016 at 5:56 am

Today I ended NC with my ex. I sent out the first contact message. It was sweet and short. I have to admit I was nervous. I made sure to send it to him when I knew he would be looking at his phone. Well I think he was playing games with me or playing it cool because it took him 5 hours to respond. But his response was positive!

I’m a little confused. I’m reading different articles on here and I have a question about the texting. So do we text for 15 days (Article New Rules for texting) then move to over the phone convo? What if he initiates a phone call sooner than that? Do I answer? I don’t want to move too fast. And lol what do you think about him taking 5 hrs to respond?

Rita

July 21, 2016 at 2:17 pm

Just an update, he did respond the next day within 15 minutes. His response was positive again.
EBR Team Member: Amor

July 21, 2016 at 3:03 pm

hi Rita

it’a not a hard rule.. if he calls that’s good.. right now that’s a good sign that he responded faster…

Tori

July 19, 2016 at 9:48 am

So me and my boyfriend were in a SERIOUS relationship for over a year. We were planning marriage, our future, blah blah blah, all serious stuff. And i know he is rather a serious guy not a player neither flirter. Around 2 months ago our love started to fade, i mean HIS love. He told me he needs a pause. Of course i failed by telling him nope, leave me or be with me, i dont agree for any pauses, as i was sure he AINT leave me ever!! But guess what, he did leave me. So, “smartly” i sweared him for that. It appeared to be that he was just making a sort of pause and i simply f*cked the situation by ruining his ego… Those were some hurtful swearings for a man, especially him. Although for me it wasnt that serious, i didnt realize i may hurt him that much :/ so, i kept begging and being sorry for more than a whole month… Of course he was just drifting away. I tried to be friends with him, but i failed too, i still LOVE him! He told me he has fallen in love with a new girl, his old friend. I am sure this is a rebound relationship though. But anyway, after he told me he has slept with her…. I started to be emotional of course… He blocked me from everything, i mean Facebook and all other social media he could. It was around 4 days ago. Since that moment i tried to contact him a bit more and he didnt reply of course so i gave up eventually and right now im on the No Contact for 3 days at the moment. I cleared my mind, blocking actually helped me to get over the biggest pain, although im still suffering and will be. But i want him. I want him despite ANYTHING, i love him and i will fight for him. But, the problem is this girl… They are really getting serious with each other :/ she wasn’t that much into him yet and right now she started to involve too. And he is a real stubborn person :/ even if he feels something towards me, he will keep being blocked towards me… I dont know, the NC will help? The girl he is with is worrying me :/ what if they are going to marry? He is really serious about those stuff!!

EBR Team Member: Amor

July 21, 2016 at 8:56 am

Hi Tori,

relax.. you’re overthinking.. for now,.what you have to do is really establish that you have moved on and that you won’t chase him and bother them and really improve yourself and go out on dates too..You should do at least 45 days

Jane

July 19, 2016 at 4:56 am

So me n my bf dated for two years and we recently broke up 4 months ago and this is not our only time breaking up. Now he has a new gf and he had messaged me a month ago and apologized for his wrong doings but I brushed him off. But just last week I messaged him asking to be friends and ever since we’ve been talking everyday and staying up all night texting. What do you think I should do ? Do you think me and him will ever get back together? Do you think he’s into me again or just being friendly? Also what about his girlfriend?

EBR Team Member: Amor

July 20, 2016 at 3:12 pm

Hi jane,

how are your texts? just friendly?

Katharine

July 18, 2016 at 1:00 am

Kevin,
I dated my ex for 3 years, a year and a half of which we were engaged. I started school in a different city 3 hrs away. We made the distance work for the most part but things started to change. When I confronted him about it he told me it was all in my head and that relationships change over time and that it was natural. I couldn’t help but feel like he just wasn’t that interested in me anymore. I felt as though he was just trying to check off the marriage box and that it really had very little to do with him being in love with me. I expressed that I felt as though I would be replaceable to him, that it hurt my feelings that he no longer did the sweet things he used to. We started fighting a lot. He became jealous any time I would go anywhere without him. He told people it was because I said I didn’t love him anymore. During our relationship he insisted that everything was in my head and that if He didn’t want to be with me he wouldn’t have proposed. To keep a long story short we broke up about 3.5 months ago. He was in a relationship 2 weeks later with someone with a small child. He was dating her for almost a month before I even found out because he blocked me on social media. Because I was away at school at had to wait until I could go home to get my things from his house. Come to find out there were pictures of him and this girl (and baby) with my stuff in the background…. which is personally think is incredibly weird even if you’re over someone.
We lived together so there was a lot of stuff. When we broke things off he told me he would pack everything and I could get it when I had time. He went back and forth between telling me he needed it out ASAP to saying I could get it when I had the time. He was adamant that he didn’t want to see me. Which again I find weird if you’re over our relationship.
Come to find out all he packed were my clothes and personal belongings. He had taken the pictures of us out of my picture frames and replaced them with pictures of his family and friends and hung them back up. He didn’t pack any of my other decorations and said it was because he didn’t know what I wanted (again weird… even if I didn’t want it why would you?) After several days of going back and forth about the remainder of my stuff he finally dropped some of it off at my parents house. There were still several items that I requested that he still didn’t bring back. We corresponded a little and at this point I was back at school. During all of this I called him several times (sometimes rather late at night- i.e. 3am) and he always answered pretty quickly and most of the conversations were pretty lengthy. I texted him once pretty early asking him to call when he had a chance and he called right away. I expressed to him that I was sad about our breakup and that I didn’t understand how he could cut me out of his life the way he had. He told me he “doesn’t stay friends with exes”. He told me if we ever got back together it wouldn’t be because him and his current girlfriend broke up but when I brought that conversation up later he told me he never said it. The communication went on for a month or so until he finally dropped that remainder of my stuff at my parents. I told him if it were a problem that I could come get the rest of it when I was home but he always said he didn’t want the next time he saw me to be when I was coming to get my stuff. Through this process I figure out he was blocking my phone number while he was not at work and unblocking it when he was. When I called him out on it he denied it at first. After pressing he said it was because he didn’t want to upset his new girlfriend but he wanted me to be able to contact him about my belongings. What I don’t understand is why he would’t just explain that to his new girlfriend and if that was a problem why he still hadn’t returned my stuff which would avoiding the need for contact all together. And if that was the case why not just say that when I asked about it instead of trying to deny it?
What was so confusing to me was why he wouldn’t just return my stuff. Through the process we were relatively nice to each other. I e-mailed him about a month ago regarding something I’d forgotten to ask for, I included something off topic and friendly just to keep things light and his response had an undertone of annoyance. I have made little effort to contact him since our split because he made it clear he didn’t want me to and has gone out of his way to cut me out of his life.
What I had the hardest time understanding is how after 3 years and an engagement he could be so cold to me, especially if he’s genuinely happy with someone else. I have been told by several people that the 2 of the are constantly posting all over social media and started telling each other they loved each other about a month in. He’s even paying some of her bills and is essentially acting like a father to her child. He also started hosting parties at his house pretty regularly… something he never did when we were together and not because I cared.
To add another layer to an already complicated story I found out he has been logging into my Facebook account on a pretty regular basis since we broke up. I think that was the most confusing part to me. He is obviously not posting to make me jealous because I cannot see anything he posts but why sign into my account if you so desperately want nothing to do with me? He has made no effort to contact me, just logs into my Facebook. He also e-mailed himself my passwords to my other accounts.
I also can’t see how you could rebound with someone with a child, at least not intentionally…. at what point is it too serious to come back from if it is a rebound? I don’t know how you go from planning a wedding with someone (date and all) to being in a very serious relationship with someone else in a matter of months, with someone who couldn’t be more opposite than me. I know his family thinks he’s moving too quickly.
I am still really struggling with all of it which makes me feel silly. I guess my question is… Do you think this is a rebound or should I brace myself to a relatively quick engagement.

EBR Team Member: Amor

July 19, 2016 at 4:42 pm

Hi katharine,

yep..it looks like a rebound

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