How To Get Your Ex Back When He's Moved On To A New Girl

3,819 thoughts on “Has He Moved On? How To Get Him Back If He Has A Girlfriend”

Kayleigh

March 18, 2016 at 7:33 pm

Sorry I mean I said stuff like – I can’t believe you’d hurt me like this etc… My mum sent him a message too saying she thought he was a better person than this.

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 19, 2016 at 4:22 pm

Oh Okay.. If he’s not replying that means he doesn’t want to get back 🙁 Never is a strong word.. but for now, maybrme he’s still hurt or angry but what’s clear is now is not the right time to rebuild friendship and startover

Danielle

March 18, 2016 at 5:52 pm

Hi so i was with my ex for almost two years we did everything together and i was the closest girlfriend hes ever had. By the first few months he gave me a promise ring and we were really in love with each other. But before we broke up i could tell he was getting kinda annoyed and irritated at me because he would call me names over nothing and would just snap. We broke up a week and a half ago and he is already talking to this other girl. When i asked him about it he denied it but everyone else was telling me different. He texted me some hurtful things about how the only reason they aren’t together is because of me and that the girl he’s “talking to” or whatever they are, doesn’t even like him. But he lied to me because her friend was trying to tell her not to talk to him because he probably still had feelings for me but she got all mad at her friend and wouldn’t listen so she does actually like him. I’m just so confused because hes telling me and her completely different things. And i also thought he was doing it just to make me mad and jealous and to just get sex out of this girl but he told his friend that he doesn’t want sex from her. I am just very confused on what to think. I haven’t talked to him for a week now because i’m trying to give him his space but i really want him back and don’t know what to think about all this. I don’t know if he even cares at all anymore..

Danielle

March 20, 2016 at 2:23 am

Why would he lie? Do I even have a chance of getting him back even with this new girl?
EBR Team Member: Amor

March 20, 2016 at 9:31 am

It can be because he can’t face his mistake, he doesn’t want you to get angry or he wants to keep the both of you..

There’s a chance because he will eventually compare the girl to you.. so keep your nc active
Danielle

March 19, 2016 at 5:14 pm

He texted me just a little earlier and was being really rude and was asking if i found a guy yet haha and that he didnt text me on his phone because he deleted my number.. i dont even know what to think anymore
EBR Team Member: Amor

March 20, 2016 at 7:46 am

did you reply? if you didn’t keep at it and do no contact..he should be the one worrying how to get your trust back..Check him through social media or friends after no contact if he’s still with he girl..if he is move on, if not, try to reconnect but be cautious
Danielle

March 19, 2016 at 5:03 pm

What should i do?. Do u think i still have a pretty good chance of getting him back?? And that hes still not over me?
EBR Team Member: Amor

March 19, 2016 at 4:00 pm

Hi Danielle,

I think he’s lying and you’re not seeing it clearly because you love him

Grace

March 18, 2016 at 3:09 am

Hi good day. Me and my ex boyfriend were together for 7 months and broke up 10 months ago because of miscommunucation and misunderstandings. He then found a new girl 3 months later and they are still together. We havent talked since the break up until last february 28. When we chatted it was great and we had fun until I told him I havent move on from and told him that I want him back. Despite his best efforts to push me away and telling me to find someone better I cant help bu expect he still have feelings for me because of his actions. Like when I stayed home and didnt go to school, he called me saying he will not go to school also and talked with me for hours just to make me feel better. And when that time he learned I was drunk with friends he called and picked me up. We talked and he told me that he still have feelings for me but it is dormant. He said he dont want his feelings for me to wake up because he doesnt want to feel the pain he felt before. After that talk he keeps pushing me away and now ignoring my texts but he still likes my facebook statuses. I dont know what to do. Did I just blow my chance of getting him back? I think I made the big no-nos. Do I stilk have a chance of getting him back? Does the no contact rule still applies for my situation? Do you think he’s in a rebound relationship? We’re catholics and came from conservative country so premarital sex is frowned upon so we havent had sex. But he told me that they already had sex with her new girl for a long time now.

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 19, 2016 at 8:45 am

Hi Grace,

if he’s still with the new girl, eveb if she’s rebound, you should avoid him.. but why does he say he doesn’t want to get hurt again? how bad was the reason before to hold back?

Jessica

March 17, 2016 at 9:08 am

Me and my Ex boyfriend dated for around 11 months, we were deeply in love and this was the first serious relationship both of us had. However because of jealousy and some trust issues we started to argue a lot. Our break up was mutual and we but one day he decided that he hates me for “having to many male friends”. We didn’t talk for a few months after that until he apologized and then we became good friends again. Half year after the break up he showed signs of loving me again, he treated me very good and was there for me when I was rejected by a guy. He then confessed that he liked me but I didn’t do anything because he once said that he would not get in a relationship until we graduated and I thought he just wanted to tell me his feelings rather than being together. One month after that I wanted to tell him that i felt the same way and explain that even if he won’t get in a relationship I’ll still be there for him and that’s when I found out he was dating someone else and I felt betrayed and was heart broken. He lied about not wanting to be in a relationship. He said I treated him badly and he doesn’t love me anymore and that what he said about not dating until we graduate was not serious. I did the wrong thing and spammed him with text talking about how much I loved him and how heartbroken I am. I talked about this once face to face with him and he kissed me and told me to give him six months to forget the girl. They broke up now but they still have feelings for each other and I’m waiting for my Ex but he is treating me worse even though I’m treating him the best I could. He says I’m annoying him and he now doesn’t think that he will ever love me again and that he wants me to move on cause he doesn’t want to see me like this. We see each other every weekday in school since we are in the same class and we have the same group of friends. Even though I know he doesn’t love me anymore we still have sex because that’s the only way I can feel intimate with him again. I feel miserable and I want him to love me again. Seeing him loving someone else while waiting for him to love me again is heart breaking, what should I do?

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 17, 2016 at 2:26 pm

Hi Jessica,

First, stop the sex… second, do nc to detach from your need for him.. Don’t chase him.. You deserve a guy who will respect you and not use you.. Don’t think about getting back with him for now… Focus on you.. Focus kn getting back on track first.. Don’t talk to him until you still feel like you can’t live without him..

Once you get to the point of missing him but being alright if you don’t end up together, that’s when you start to be friends again

Kayleigh

March 17, 2016 at 7:21 am

So you don’t think there’s any chance of us ever getting back together? I never got closure you see.

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 17, 2016 at 1:54 pm

Oh I said because I thought that was your decision.. what did you mean when you said you sent negative messages before?

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 16, 2016 at 8:19 pm

Hi Kayleigh,

So, I’m going to assume your asking for a way to move on easily.. Well, it’s really a process.. and you probably ended during the honeymoon phase so, it’s really harder to move on.. but one of the biggest help to other women moving on is finding a new world to progress in and meeting new people even if it’s not for dating. Just cultivating your skills and othet relationships helps a lot
Sanny

March 14, 2016 at 6:52 pm

I had a relationship of 5 years, I m his 1st love and this january he cheated me and started a new relationship with a new girl in his college.
He shows me that he hates me, He doesnt contact me for a month, I kept sending him texts about our memories, but now i dont.Before he leave he said that no one will love him as much as i did.Somehow he shows up that he is happy with the new woman and he doesnt remember me at all.people say the new girl is not as pretty as me . but she is there with him because she is in his college too.He had said his freind that he liked that girl because of her eyes, the way she talks and her personality. he always said that he doesnt want someone who is doing the same carrier as him, but she is doing the same carrier.
when i got to know this relationship it has been 1 week for it. i talked to the girl too and asked not like a week, how can i forget 5 years of memories? I was there in his struggeling time, now he is a successful man because i was there with him. then she blamed me saying now he loves her, not me, so better off without him. but i did not blame her.
I’m going through a hell with 5 years of memories and flashbacks.
I have helped him through his exams sacrificing my exams.
but he stays as he never remembers me. we have made a lot of memories. love and sex both.
he and i are in same age 23 now. He said he disposed everything i gave him, gifts cards everything. but
his mother said he has not throwed away the gifts i gave him, they are still there in his room.
Does he remember me?
does he miss me too but doesnt show?
what should I do? and will he come back ever?
Sanny

March 13, 2016 at 4:16 am

I had a relationship of 5 years, I am his 1st love and this january he cheated me and started a new relationship with a new girl in his college.
He shows me that he hates me, He doesnt contact me for a month, I kept sending him texts about our memories, but now i dont.Before he leave he said that no one will love him as much as i did.Somehow he shows up that he is happy with the new woman and he doesnt remember me at all.people say the new girl is not as pretty as me . but she is there with him because she is in his college too.He had said his freind that he liked that girl because of her eyes, the way she talks and her personality. he always said that he doesnt want someone who is doing the same carrier as him, but she is doing the same carrier.
when i got to know this relationship it has been 1 week for it. i talked to the girl too and asked not like a week, how can i forget 5 years of memories? I was there in his struggeling time, now he is a successful man because i was there with him. then she blamed me saying now he loves her, not me, so better off without him. but i did not blame her.
I’m going through a hell with 5 years of memories and flashbacks.
I have helped him through his exams sacrificing my exams.
but he stays as he never remembers me. we have made a lot of memories. love and sex both.
he and i are in same age 23 now. He said he disposed everything i gave him, gifts cards everything. but
his mother said he has not throwed away the gifts i gave him, they are still there in his room.
Doeshe remember me?
does he miss me too but doesnt show?
what should I do? and will he come back ever?

Sanny

March 18, 2016 at 1:42 am

Yes I have already started no contact rule. Hope that he will miss me, since its 5 years of memories. 🙁
Sanny

March 14, 2016 at 7:01 pm

Thank you very much. I want to know wether will he ever miss me?
i want him to realize what he did is wrong . will he ever say sorry?
EBR Team Member: Amor

March 15, 2016 at 1:23 pm

He’s human, so he will be comparing you to her and for every aspect that you’re better he will miss you but we don’t have intense that is. And about him realizing he’s wrong, he may realize that when you’re not saying anything to him anymore, when you’re living your life and not bothering them. Because every time you do something, he uses it to justify his mistake that he did the right thing of leaving you.
EBR Team Member: Amor

March 13, 2016 at 7:56 am

Hi Sanny,

I understand that it hurts and it’s hurting you that he just forgot the 5 years away…But pushing further will just make it worse.. You’re just chasing him and you now appear as the common enemy for them.. Try to do active nc now to heal.. do it for 45 days..and then assess after that if you still want to try to get back with him…

Lisa

March 11, 2016 at 8:29 am

Me and my ex S been together for around 18 months, we have been on and off after I broke up with him in march, he was heart broken, sometime he chase me, sometime I chase him.

He broke up with me end Nov, then by end Dec he decided to get back with his ex and get married in Jun. He told me this yesterday, he said he had argument with his ex sometime, still trying to cope with it, not easy. Also he said I’m the first gf he really love and tried his best to please me. I’m a perfect match for him but now he decided to find someone loves him more than he loves her. By the way, I leave my marriage for him. Do you think I should try to get him back or move on? Thanks

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 11, 2016 at 12:34 pm

Hi Lisa,

I just want to be clear, he’s engaged now right? I think if he’s happy you have to let him be.. and he has to be worthy of you.. he has to choose you because he loves you..not like his reason with his current fiancee that it’s just because she loves him more than he loves her…

Lena

March 10, 2016 at 4:57 pm

Hello, my situation is a bit different and could use some insight.

I’m in love with a guy, we’ve been friends for years but never had the opportunity to date because of other relationships and his family. But we have an amazing connection, unlike any other! He is my perfect guy. We first me when I was in a stale and unhappy relationship, and he begged me to break up with that guy and date him, and I refused. He was in love with me, and even told his mom that I was “the most beautiful woman he’s ever seen”. However, I was in a bad relationship and cheated on my boyfriend with him a few times. (I am not proud of this at all) When I finally broke up with my ex, I told this guy I needed time to myself and he was heartbroken from waiting so long and already being intimate, and we didn’t talk for almost a year.

He would not talk to me AT ALL no matter how much I tried until the day my father died. This guy called me to offer his sympathy, and since then we rekindled our friendship. He was always there when I needed to talk, and we started growing close again. One day I called him and confessed that I had feelings for him. His response was, “Thank you for being honest with me, but right now I want to focus on our friendship.” It was a bit painful to hear but I respected his decision, especially since he was genuinely trying to build our friendship and we continued to talk a lot. I’m also really close with his family (mom and sister) and even spent Thanksgiving with them.

One day I made a playlist of all the songs that made me think of him. He called me a few hours later and told me that he loved it, and that one of the songs (the most romantic one) made him cry, even though he heard it before but it meant a lot to him that it came from me. Funny, because first time I heard this song too I also cried. Romantic, huh? He immediately asked me out on a date. We went out to the movies and it was perfect (we’ve gone out many times before, have also kissed and had sex), but it felt like we were trying to start fresh since we had a bit of a messy past. We had a great time, and afterwards he told me he did, too. We sat in my car for an hour after the movie, and he told me he really cared about me but was afraid to date me. He explained that if we start hanging out a lot we will end up seriously dating, and there was something scaring him about that but he didn’t know exactly what. He seemed genuinely frustrated that he couldn’t articulate his feelings. It frustrated me, too!

Finally, I was having a hard week (my dad’s birthday was approaching) and he hadn’t responded to my calls for a few days, so I overreacted and assumed he blocked my number. He finally responded saying he lost his phone and just got a new one, and he was upset at the things I’d said. I told him that I didn’t want to hang out anymore and that I was now casually dating someone else. He agreed that we shouldn’t hang out anymore. He also said, “I’m sorry I dont feel the same about you that you do about me.” That REALLY confused me, because he was always so smitten with me and I never forced anything with him. Do you think he really meant that, or was trying to hurt me back? I had said some awful things.

Once my anger faded and my common sense returned, I sent him an apology text and surprisingly he accepted my apology and he seemed happy that I made amends. Our last contact was last week, I sent him a happy birthday text and he sent back, “Thank you Le :)”. (Le is just a nickname)

I recently saw a girl on facebook post a picture of them together at his birthday celebration. It seems he was already friends with her for some time. I subtly picked his mom’s brains about her, and she confirmed that he’s now dating her. Ouch. I was planning to work on myself and my depression before trying to date him again, but now I don’t know what to do. I won’t contact him anymore but all I want is to have another chance. I feel terrible for messing up so many times, but I know I’m his dream girl and he is 100% my dream guy and I’m not happy with the guy I’m dating now. Please help? How should I proceed? Or have I hurt him too many times to redeem our seemingly endless love saga?

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 11, 2016 at 12:27 am

Hi Lena,

Hmm.. I think you got friend zoned.. maybe because he got tired of being hurt or maybe because it’s been a series of misundertandings.. do you consider doing nc?

laila

March 6, 2016 at 10:12 am

My ex and I have been dating for a year now.Our relation was completely blisfull and we totally understood each other.Sadly our families were against our relationship due to religious differences.Finally my boyfriend broke up with me explaining that he was hurting me instead of hurting his parents and relatives.His marriage has also been fixed by his parents and he seems to be fine with their decision because he wants to make them happy.Our breakup is 2 months old now but he still contacts me everyday promising me that he will never leave my side and support me in every decision i take even if i am married and gone.I decided to start the NO contact Rule from today but i dont know if this will be usefull now since its too late.Please help me soon

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 7, 2016 at 12:34 pm

Hi Laila,

but he’s not married yet right?

Jennifer

March 4, 2016 at 10:44 am

Hello. Any chance you could email me on advice on how to get him back its a very long story and I’m bot comfortable with putting it up so everyone can see. Look forward to hearing from you thank you

Jennifer

March 6, 2016 at 10:54 am

Yes it was 🙂
Jennifer

March 5, 2016 at 11:13 am

well I think it’s sent wouldn’t let me do it on my phone kept saying not delivered so I tried from the laptop and it seems to of sent ok. I’m terrible with emails If you never received it please let me know
EBR Team Member: Amor

March 6, 2016 at 5:33 am

Ok, I’ll check it with our team member Cheese, is this the same email you used?
Jennifer

March 5, 2016 at 10:58 am

Thank you sent an email 🙂
Jennifer

March 5, 2016 at 10:22 am

Sorry where is support address because I am having trouble finding it?
EBR Team Member: Amor

March 5, 2016 at 10:26 am

sorry Jennifer! My reply was incomplete! This is the address [email protected]
Jennifer

March 4, 2016 at 10:49 am

My email is [email protected]
If you could give me an email so I can reply and tell you my situation so I could get some advice that would be great thank you

Jackie

March 2, 2016 at 3:02 pm

Me and my ex has been dating for almost a year he recently said he wasnt happy about the relationship and after that we were texting each other because he said he wanted me to be his bestfriend. I havent spoke to him for like a month and im still in love with him and he has my clothes at his house and i have his clothes at my house please help me how can i get him back

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 2, 2016 at 5:07 pm

Hi Jackie

have you used this month to improve yourself?

Alice

February 29, 2016 at 6:55 pm

Hello,
I was hoping I could share my story and get some advice if possible? Is this a relationship worth saving?

My ex and I were together for two years and it was all going so well, my family loved him and he was a big part of our lives. I went away for work for 3 weeks and had very limited internet or reception so wasn’t able to talk to him that often, when I got back home however instead of a big reunion he sat me down and told me he wanted to end things. Apparently he had started developing feelings for someone else whilst I had been away and didn’t think it was fair on me to continue the relationship. He was devastated about ending it and was very upset. He texted me saying he missed me a lot and I was also really upset, but started to accept it slowly and thought I was doing okay until only 2 weeks after telling me he missed me I saw him in a club kissing a random girl, he saw me and awkwardly said hi but I ran back to my friends. I later saw them leave the club together holding hands.

After this I found it a lot harder to get him out of my head, I was expecting him to contact me and apologise or something, but he just didn’t. A week after I had seen them I couldn’t take it anymore and texted him something along the lines of ‘in future I would really appreciate it if you didn’t hook up with random girls right in front of me’ and he replied with ‘oh yeah, sorry about that, I was quite drunk.’ After that something inside me just snapped, I very very rarely get angry, but it was like an explosion of fury just erupted, so I messaged back saying some really terrible things and using some awful words that I’ve never used before. I ended the message saying I hated him and never wanted to see him again. He immediately replied with ‘good, we’re not together anymore so leave me alone.’

I immediately regretted losing my temper, it’s not in my nature at all for starters and secondly I felt immensely guilty as I had said some horrible things. I texted him again the next morning saying ‘I’m sorry for last night, I was just angry and hurt by what I had seen and I hope you understand that, I really want to end on good terms if possible?’ and he replied with ‘what you said last night was quite frankly disgusting, I’m sorry you saw me with the girl that night but like I said I was too drunk to realise you’d seen us, we’re not together anymore, have a nice life.’

Now I really don’t know what to do. I really do want us to try and end on good terms if possible, but I feel now the tables have turned a bit and before he was feeling sorry for me and being kind to me, whereas now he’s just angry at me. I’m not going to pester him again but am terrified of bumping into him again somewhere. What should I do? Is there any chance this relationship can be saved?

Alice

March 2, 2016 at 2:59 pm

Thanks for the reply, I think you’re right in that he cooled down a bit and replied in the end saying he appreciated my apology and was sorry I saw him go home with this girl. We live in a small city so I bumped into him yesterday and just smiled tentatively. Now I don’t really know what to do, is the best thing right now just NC?

It’s really hurt me that he’s sleeping with other girls so soon after we ended such a serious relationship, I think if we were ever to get back together now it would be in a year or so when we’ve both gone off on our own for a bit. He’s younger than me too which may be part of the problem as to why he doesn’t want to be tied down (he’s 24 and I’m 26).

Is there any chance this could work in future? Or do you think the fact he’s already moved on so quickly with another girl proves that he just doesn’t have feelings for me anymore?
EBR Team Member: Amor

March 2, 2016 at 5:06 pm

yeah, you’re both young.. I think do nc for now.. it will be too much to try to be friends again right ahead.. and it’s too early to say too that it won’t work out in the long run.. focus on the now first
EBR Team Member: Amor

March 2, 2016 at 1:36 pm

Hi Alice,

we’re human.. let time do it’s thing..he’ll cool off soon too.. At least you already apologized..when you bump into each other, look at him straight in the eye kindly, guage if you can smile then look away

Kris

February 29, 2016 at 3:29 pm

My ex and I were together for 6 years. We fell very hard for each other and he even moved across the country with so I could do a placement to complete my schooling. When I was done, I willingly moved to his hometown with him. We always had a give and take relationship. At 5 years in, he broke up with me saying we drifted apart. We talked two days later and got back together because we were willing to try for each other. Everything was great. We had rough patches, but it was still good. 14 months later, I leave to visit family for Christmas, and when I get back he dumps me. He says he isn’t happy. I ended up having to move away because I couldn’t afford to live on my own. It’s been two months now. He’s been seeing a new girl for AT LEAST a month. But I still feel like we belong together. I did everything right in the relationship. I still love him very much. I texted him a few days ago for the first time to see if he’d like to be friends. He likes the idea. And I do much prefer the idea of being just friends rather than being nothing, but I’d still like us to be together again.

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 1, 2016 at 12:51 pm

Hi Kris,
so basically you’re in the texting phase now rught?

Tailor

February 26, 2016 at 8:17 pm

Hello, I have a big issue so I’m going to get straight to it, we * me and my ex boyfriend * moved from or hometown together left everything behind for a fresh start, we had started working together and had a mutual friend, she was my friend we worked together and talked I quit working there she was with her ex for 4 years they have 2 kids together…. She had been contacting my ex for advice but it start becoming more than that I’m guessing me and him had got into a arguemtnt and he went and ran to her with it at work, I had start coming up there and she just was giving me a vibe so I knew something was up of course I let her be mad for whatever she had no reason to but later we plan to move in together and I had kicked him out one night he didn’t come back she had let him stay there he told me he didn’t tell me because I was going to be mad, me and him have always been super close we’ve been together for 2 years, I had popped up at her house while he was there watching her kids while she was at work & had confronted the situation she later pulled up she said they weren’t nothing and she was working on thing with her ex fiancé, she’s 25 my ex he’s 19 , I approached her as woman to woman she gave me childish and immature reaction I let it be, they had been having sex before dating some say they had a drunk moment and she gave herself to him and they weren’t even together like how easy is she, she knew we where together and I was still with him and now he and she have been together for 5 weeks moved in together after 2 weeks & now stays together they are already talking about having kids he acts extra happy but he stills pops up over here everytime I try the no contact he pops up I ignore his calls text and when I do he still pops up, and they act all happy and she even said she loves him after only a month I don’t know if he says it back, how they are moving out of town together…. Could he move on that fast?all she does is talk about me & I think he does too saying * I’m crazy, Just hateful things * she tweets things, I give no reply. She still conversates with her ex and he has no idea, she still talks about him. recently he had text I didn’t text back popped up 30 mins later and I had told him I didn’t want to talk to him because there were still feelings there I don’t understand why he still pops up He came over literally 6 days ago. I love him so much & he has told me he loves me back, I don’t want to lose him but I don’t know what to do to get him back, could you help? I honestly feel like they are moving to fast , did he lose feelings that fast? Did he ever care about me?

Tailor

February 29, 2016 at 9:47 pm

Okay I’m going to take your advice, they ran into me the other day and I was way mature about it you know, I felt good about myself honestly
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 27, 2016 at 8:40 am

Hi Tailor,

I think she’s a rebound.. If he pops up.. ignore him.. If you can’t talk it out.. for me there’s no other way but to do nc
Tailor

February 26, 2016 at 8:24 pm

Forget about this one I made the sorry a little bit shorter .

Csam

February 23, 2016 at 7:26 am

Hi Amor,
Me and my ex were together for 6 months. I was his dream girl. (Not to brag but most people thinks I’m very very beautiful. I’m tall. I’m fit. I have big chest and butt. I have fair and smooth skin. I’m also a 4.0 student. A church girl on Sundays. I also play sports. And is friends with everybody) Me and my ex never kissed yet. Because I am a very conservative lady. Another reason why he worked hard to get me. He really loved me and respected me. However, because of my busy schedule I decided to split with him. He constantly texted me after our break up but ignored it. After 2 months he gave up but I know deep inside he is still in love with me.

After 6 months of our break up. I saw him with a new girl, which is a friend of mine and a close friend of him. (We live in a small island so this is something usual to us) Whenever we would hang out with our circle of friends, he’s with the new girl but will constantly glance to me. Few weeks later, I found out that they’re officially together. What’s worse? Their relationship is so much better than us. They already kissed. They sleep together. They’ve met each other’s parents and they’re just getting stronger! My ex also blocked me in his social medias. (I know that his girlfriend asked him to do this) I have nothing against his girlfriend because she’s my friend. But she’s short and kind of chubby.

I was wondering if I could get him back through my looks and personality?
And are your steps going to be effective in getting him back?

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 24, 2016 at 6:46 am

Hi Csam,

looks is the first step to attract a person and personality is what makes them stay.. but…your achievements and hobbies is not all your personality consists okay? There’s also character and of you have the same values with the guy..

But to your question, looks and personality is indeed a big factor

Josie

February 22, 2016 at 3:30 am

Hello. Mine is different. This has something to do with my paranoia about his possible move to win back his ex. He and I were togther for a year and it was long distance. He lived an hour away from me and would come to my city every weekend. He anD I were happy and he was awfully devoted to me. Back then he would call me at 2 AM when he got off from work and even find a way to see me if my day offs doesn’t match to his. That stopped during last year which is something I take as normal. I did notice some changes with him but I thought maybe he is busier in his new job. Last December he said he needs to work until the 31st because of a financial crisis his older brother created. He said he wants to help out. He promised to make up and told me we will spend a night together somewhere. When I asked him about that he said he had to cancel because he had a doctor’s appointment. He got sick as well and was confined in the hospital and was even shocked by the bills.

Now somewhere in the last week of January he texted me like this, ” I don’t want to lie to you, but I am confuses with my feelings, I am confused with everything.” I called him but he ended up turninh it off saying he wants to be alone. He said his feelings for me have changed. He said he cannot accept these changes. I gave him a week and I found out that he blocked my number.

I went to his house and confronted him asking “are you breaking up with me?” He just stared at me. He said he can’t be happy with someone, he can’t be in a relationship with someone. He told me that I need to live (move on).

The day after that meeting, I hacked his Facebook and saw conversations of him with his ex. He told her about us. Their conversation went like this:

Him: It happened again
Ex: What do you mean?
H: I can’t see a future with her.
E: So that’s it? You don’t love her anymore?
H: I just don’t see myself with any one. I see myself alone for the rest of my life.
E: Maybe you are confused. Try to talk to her.
H: I have been thinking this for a long time.
E: This is just sad. Hope you guys will be ok soon.
H: Her only.
E: Why only her?
H: Because she is hurt more. We were ok then suddenly it came into this.

Now I can see that his ex was encouraging him. After a while they stopped talking about us and he seems happy. The thing is I can’t help but be angry because the way he talka to her is the same way he talked to me before when he and I are still in the getting to know stage. He even asked her to go with him someplace and even offer to bake her some pastries.

I also found out that they’ve been friends in Facebook since September and even followed her in Tumblr. He did not tell me this. I told him before not to contact her but he did it anyway. I know it is no use asking him these after our break up but he was not truthful.

I askes him, “did you really lost feelings or is it your gentle way of saying you found someone else?” He said “No, I cannot be in a relationship. I just want to be alone.” I asked him for how long and he answered “Until my heart stops telling me to be alone”. He said he contacted his ex for advice since they also broke up in the same situation. He said it’s him all this time. He said all his friends have only one answer “he falls out love”. He said that whatever happened between him and the ex are in the past now. A friend of mine somehow suggested that maybe he did try to win her back but to no avail because maybe the ex refused.

Now I am still worried that he might be trying to win her back. My friends told me I should take his word that somehow it’s really his personality to be like that. But at the back of my head he is reaching out to her. What should I do?
Jey

February 22, 2016 at 1:04 am

My ex boyfriend for two years broke my heart on valentine’s day. He was not sharing his phone to me which is normal for a girl to freak out, also his fb password (it’s a.long time issue) He was just assuring me that he’s never been so loyal in his life and that I dont need his passwrd because i wont see anything there but you know girls are girls , normally when i break down he gives it to me then change it when we quarel again. a week before valentine’s day I argued with him about it again (that was sunday) then said that we need to talk in.order to things work out but He did not say anything . He was just closing his eyes and i was confused why. I was able to sleep without hearing a word from him, In the morning I was still feeling hurt and confuse because i dont understand his thinking , i felt disconnected . He was ok in the morning acting like nothings happened. He asked goodbye kiss before he left but i refused and said i cant do this anymore. Then he said ok and left. We did not talk for in 1 week, on a valentines day I greeted him and i was shock because he was angry with me. He said that i am chatting him now because no ones greeting me that i should have think to talk to him within the week , he said taht hes tired of explaining things to.me and that i was the one who initiated the break up not him. I was shock because it ia usual to.me to say words like and frget it after because hes the one who always get to me. I.thought we are just gibing time to think for 1week.i called him ,beg, said sorry and that i realized his worth, even called his bestfrend but he did not take my call,he asked me to stop txting anyone he know and he’a already moved on. on.monday i txted him that i will change.my number because im beggining to accept things and replied rightaway saying ” you dont need to do that. ” he asks me.also to stop. Ifeel like he just need time to think. But yesteeday sunday i saw his instagram post he’s having a date with someone special he said and i see the girls instagram that on a valentines day he gave her flowers. It’s her workmate. My heart is now crushing into pieces. I felt that he has been flirting with workmate while we still are together thats why he has easily movedon.and forget what we have. He chose to leave me for that girl instead of talking to me and figure things out. Tell me what you think.of this . If somehow .i am able.to get him back. I started the NC rule a week ago.

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 23, 2016 at 8:49 am

Hi Jey,
you’re brave too right? I’ll just copy paste my answer there and then just reply on which you want us to continue the conversation

I just want to ask first.. did he something before that caused for you to lose trust in him and check his phone and fb always?

Brave

February 22, 2016 at 12:57 am

My ex boyfriend for two years broke my heart on valentine’s day. He was not sharing his phone to me which is normal for a girl to freak out, also his fb password (it’s a.long time issue) He was just assuring me that he’s never been so loyal in his life and that I dont need his passwrd because i wont see anything there but you know girls are girls , normally when i break down he gives it to me then change it when we quarel again. a week before valentine’s day I argued with him about it again (that was sunday) then said that we need to talk in.order to things work out but He did not say anything . He was just closing his eyes and i was confused why. I was able to sleep without hearing a word from him, In the morning I was still feeling hurt and confuse because i dont understand his thinking , i felt disconnected . He was ok in the morning acting like nothings happened. He asked goodbye kiss before he left but i refused and said i cant do this anymore. Then he said ok and left. We did not talk for in 1 week, on a valentines day I greeted him and i was shock because he was angry with me. He said that i am chatting him now because no ones greeting me that i should have think to talk to him within the week , he said taht hes tired of explaining things to.me and that i was the one who initiated the break up not him. I was shock because it ia usual to.me to say words like and frget it after because hes the one who always get to me. I.thought we are just gibing time to think for 1week.i called him ,beg, said sorry and that i realized his worth, even called his bestfrend but he did not take my call,he asked me to stop txting anyone he know and he’a already moved on. on.monday i txted him that i will change.my number because im beggining to accept things and replied rightaway saying ” you dont need to do that. ” he asks me.also to stop. Ifeel like he just need time to think. But yesteeday sunday i saw his instagram post he’s having a date with someone special he said and i see the girls instagram that on a valentines day he gave her flowers. It’s her workmate. My heart is now crushing into pieces. I felt that he has been flirting with workmate while we still are together thats why he has easily movedon.and forget what we have. He chose to leave me for that girl instead of talking to me and figure things out. Tell me what you think.of this . If somehow .i am able.to get him back. I started the NC rule a week ago.

Brave

April 3, 2016 at 1:55 pm

yeah, just an update- last friday just got out from work and ended up eating outside our building when i noticed that he’s standing infront of our table with a friend , i continued with what im doing but inside im shaking , i remember i saw him in the elavator few days before , i knod at him (just to appear i moved on) , he look at me then looked down (no awknoledgement) , but i felt stronger that time but when i saw him in front of me i was thinking that he was waiting for his new thing so i got out of the place then to protect myself from more heartache, then just moments later i got a txt from him saying ” hi how are you and your new fling ? Are you in a relationship already? Congrats looks like you moved on, don’t try to stay away or hide it” (with a smiley at the end . I was like , what the f*** he’s the one that has new gf and now hes judging me that i have one . I haven’t replied thought my 30DAY NC IS NOW OVER. I remember i posted last week in instagram that i went on jogging w/ the caption ” moringjog. Oh ok i will buy newshoes later (w/ lots of smileysss but im alone in the picture) i wonder if that makes him think that i have new thing too. Help me i don’t know how to interpret his text, is he playing nice or he is genuinely happy thinking that i already moved on. I don’t know what to reply or would i? Pls advce
EBR Team Member: Amor

April 4, 2016 at 9:59 am

I think that’s his way of trying to know if you have a new thing
Brave

March 29, 2016 at 2:30 am

Hi, I’m back .. I have to say I failed the first trial and probably the last. Remember I said he texted me? I ended up replying to him and as expected I ended up more hurt and disappointed, I restarted NC again and now at my last week of 1 month NC and still no contact from him again,. My workmates are always updating me that they are seeing him around sometimes alone and sometimes with the new bird (remember we work at the same building) . I don’t know what to feel anymore I am so afraid that if i contact him after NC i will look like desperate again ,that I will end up hurting myself more. From what I heard He looks happy with the new bird. I already told them.to stop reporting because I don’t need it and definetely wont help.my broken heart. Please advice
EBR Team Member: Amor

April 3, 2016 at 5:28 am

Be more active in this nc first to establish that you’re moving on. Actually it’s better if you lean more on that because either it will be a long road to get him back or it wouldn’t happen because of the other girl..
Jey

February 27, 2016 at 8:36 pm

Update: He just texted me asking if I really resign from work .( found out later that He also chatted me the same msg on fb). I remember I txted him two weeks ago that I will leave my work and will find somthing else to move on .( We work at the same building me at 3rd flr and him at 4th flr.) So maybe He’s wondering why He’s not seeing me around. Well I did not leave maybe our schedules are different. I did not reply to him though all my nerves melt when I saw his txt.,but I don’t feel any need to explain things anymore, but I wonder all of a sudden He ask when Hes throwing waters on my face from last week. Telling me to wake up and stop. He txted me again . I dont know help me
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 28, 2016 at 1:42 pm

just ignore him for now that you’re in nc.. I know it’s hard.. but that’s what you should do
Jey

February 24, 2016 at 11:10 am

Yes I am, too bad you realized somthing when it’s quite too late. Plus I don’t really know if he’s in a rebound relationship because He gave him flowers , I think He’s serious , when im on my 7thday of no contact He chatted me asking me to stop txting He’s bestfriend and sister, He also saying all over again that I was the one who initiated the break up and he already moved on ( ( the f* that fast huh? Really ? ), I did not reply to that but will I start again from 1 since He contacted me? . 7 days ago I txted him a sorry and thankyou message ending at ‘I dont know if you still can read it maybe you’ve change your number” and I got a reply right away saying that He did not change his number. after that not the same time I txted him that I will change phone number so that I wont bother him anymore that I accepted everything and I got a reply right away saying ” you don’t have to do that . ” and I was like what the f? Is He playing with my feelings ? I did not say it to.him though. I was like feeling a very little spark of hope that time. I uninstall my instagram so that I wont see his post with the girl. He created a new facebook acct. With only the list of friens only with his covworkers no one else and He did not unfruend me on his original facebook acct. He just deactivated it then open it once in few days to check on it I guess. I did another fb as well for me to stop thinking about him from my prev .account.Im not sure what progress will he make on his orig fb if he will add the girl and tag her on a relationship status as im not planning to open it until I move on or until im sure that i wont get hurt anymore when i see his face unless he comes back. He did not say that He doesnt love me anymore so I wonder if that is a positive thing. Please help me, what do you think , Do I still have a chance to hold him again or I just lost him forever ?
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 24, 2016 at 12:54 pm

It’s just been a week.. actually you have to restart nc nit because he texted you but because if your texts with his sister..especially of it’s about him bcoz ur still like communicating to him in that way
Jey

February 23, 2016 at 9:08 am

Nothing really, I was just cheated on in my past relationship before him so i developed this fear of cheaters on the process. I felt like its not good to not share stuff on your gf , the more he refused to the more depressed i am , i felt like his hiding stuff from me.
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 24, 2016 at 6:52 am

hmmm.. well not all.. he has to have his privacy.. and also.. it suffocates him.. It’s what pushed him away.. If you want to get him back.. that’s a big factor because that’s the reason he fell out of love.. are you willing to give up the need to check his phone and get his password?
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 23, 2016 at 8:45 am

Hi Brave,

I just want to ask first.. did he something before that caused for you to lose trust in him and check his phone and fb always?

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